Fred Karno’s Army
General Petraeus, the commander of the American forces in Iraq, is probably going to have some explaining to do in the next few days – he was responsible in 2004 – 2005 for distributing a large chunk of the weapons that the Americans have given to the Iraqi government. Unfortunately, about a third of them can no longer be accounted for and are probably in the hands of the opposition forces. In other words:
- 110,000 AK-47s
- 80,000 pistols
- 135,000 bits of armour
And where does Fred Karno come into this? Well, he was a slap-stick comedian at the same time as Laurel and Hardy were so popular, and one of his acts was about a completely chaotic army described in the ditty below:
Given the US forces’ record in Iraq so far – not able to stop looting of hospitals and museums, unable to secure Iraqi arms dumps, can’t keep records of what they’ve done with money or arms, can’t keep the country under control – they seem to be on a par with Fred Karno’s Army, don’t they?We are Fred Karno’s army,
Fred Karno’s infantry;
We cannot fight, we cannot shoot,
So what damn good are we?
But when we get to Berlin
The Kaiser he will say
Hoch, hoch, mein Gott
Vot a bloody fine lot
Fred Karno’s infantry.